The Cicadas are Coming

On the top of my list of Things I Really Don’t Want to Happen, Invasion of Giant Bugs sits squarely in the top 5, preceded only by things like Biological Warfare and Epic East Coast Earthquake.

But it is about to happen. Invasion by Giant Bugs that is. The cicadas are coming.

Potential cicada-wear. This stylish option is from REI.

Potential cicada-wear. This stylish option is from REI.

They should be here any day. Actually, they probably should have already been here, but we have had an oddly cool spring. It’s like Mother Nature herself is procrastinating the release of the Giant Bugs  because she knows how terrible it will be.

You may think, “oh we have cicadas every year, they are not so bad.” In fact, that is why my parents said when I tried to warn them that they could be visiting during the Giant Bug Invasion. But these guys are different. They only come out every 17 years in one giant cicada-mating frenzy. I have heard crazy things like 600,000 cicadas per person, that they will rain from the sky and cover the ground, and that they will be as loud as a subway train.

Sure, the worst thing a cicada might do is get stuck in your hair and scare the crap out of you as they bang against your windshield on the highway, but who wants a 3 inch creepy crawly thing in their hair or to have to wash guts off their car daily? I sure don’t. I also absolutely hate the feel of crunching a giant bug. Or even a small bug for that matter. I hate squishing things so much that I try to get my cats to kill bugs for me. However, when that works, it is likely that bug bits will just end up on the carpet as cat barf. It may be time to buy a steam cleaner.

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4 thoughts on “The Cicadas are Coming

  1. I guess you weren’t here in 2004…yeah – it is pretty gross. You’ll be glad you didn’t get a dog, because I hear some of them like to eat cicadas. I was thinking about it yesterday as I rode to work with my mouth hanging open for oxygen, thinking I might need to get a face mask…Hopefully brood II is hyped up and won’t be as bad as 2004, though.

    • No, luckily I missed that experience. I had a completely cicada free 2004 in State College, PA. But I have heard so many stories that it just makes the anticipation even worse!

  2. I think we’ll luck out in Arlington with Brood II, they are based out towards the west. The 2004 brood was based right here though and THAT was a ridiculous welcome to the city. I remember my office had a giant revolving door and there were PILES of cicada carcasses in the door. Kind of made you not want to go outside. Ever.

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