On the top of my list of Things I Really Don’t Want to Happen, Invasion of Giant Bugs sits squarely in the top 5, preceded only by things like Biological Warfare and Epic East Coast Earthquake.
But it is about to happen. Invasion by Giant Bugs that is. The cicadas are coming.
They should be here any day. Actually, they probably should have already been here, but we have had an oddly cool spring. It’s like Mother Nature herself is procrastinating the release of the Giant Bugs because she knows how terrible it will be.
You may think, “oh we have cicadas every year, they are not so bad.” In fact, that is why my parents said when I tried to warn them that they could be visiting during the Giant Bug Invasion. But these guys are different. They only come out every 17 years in one giant cicada-mating frenzy. I have heard crazy things like 600,000 cicadas per person, that they will rain from the sky and cover the ground, and that they will be as loud as a subway train.
Sure, the worst thing a cicada might do is get stuck in your hair and scare the crap out of you as they bang against your windshield on the highway, but who wants a 3 inch creepy crawly thing in their hair or to have to wash guts off their car daily? I sure don’t. I also absolutely hate the feel of crunching a giant bug. Or even a small bug for that matter. I hate squishing things so much that I try to get my cats to kill bugs for me. However, when that works, it is likely that bug bits will just end up on the carpet as cat barf. It may be time to buy a steam cleaner.